My Good Friday

I have been wanting to write this post for some time now but I wanted to wait for a specific date. And it is now creeping upon us, Good Friday. I hope to post a little more of this story every Friday until April 10th, Good Friday 2009.



For most of us Good Friday is the Friday before Easter, the day of the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ. One of the most important religious days there is. It is the day that my God experience the pain of losing his only son. It is the day (one of anyhow) that He showed to us His awesome power when the skies went black, the earth quaked, tombs broke open and the curtain in the temple was ripped from TOP to BOTTOM.



For me and my family, it is so much more. I have never wanted this to be a "preemie mom" blog because there are already SO many amazing ones out there. I can point you in the direction of a few if you so wish. Nor have I ever intended this to be a religious blog. Mainly because I am still walking in "the inbetweens" of life. What I DO intend for this blog to be is as my title reads, "a tidbit of our day" and sometimes, our life.



This day is a day that I will forever remember. It changed so many things about the way I live and the people I allow into my life. Here is the story of My Good Friday.



It begins back in April of 2007. We were living in Germany. Morgan, Mike and I were preparing for yet another one of Mike's deployments. This time it was Iraq. To say the least I was worried. Mike and I had talked A LOT about how this deployment would be so much different than the last. How though we were going to be apart, again, and this time it was going to be a lot longer, that in the long run, it truly was best for our family.



I had decided that Morgan and I would move back to Tennessee to be closer to my family. I had a job lined up and was THRILLED at the possibility to be working again. We were unsure if this was going to happen though. It seemed that they were not allowing too many families to go back Stateside this time, but we tried anyway. And last minute our request was granted. It seemed as though everything was falling into place. We had packers, movers, plane tickets, and housing lined up and ready to go. Now for those of you who know little to NOTHING about how a Military moves goes, this just DOES NOT happen. I remember telling my mom that it just felt like God was lining things up for us. It was THAT easy!



The weekend before Morgan and I flew out of Germany there was a family retreat in Garmisch. We had considered going but felt the time crunch and decided not to. We got a call the day before the retreat telling us we were going and our name had been put on the list. Well, when they make it SO easy for you, why not, right?? It was a WONDERFUL marriage retreat that I think we really needed. Basically it was restating the facts that though it is hard and you will fight, its most important to LISTEN to one another. Sometimes we only hear the tone of voice and know it is directed at us in anger but we aren't really hearing the words that are being said. For instance, you hear your mate complaining about how the laundry is never finished or the kitchen is never clean, when really all they may be saying is "could I have a hand please?" We enjoyed this retreat very much!



The next week ( a few days after our retreat) Morgan, Mike and I headed to the airport. I think this was one of the most difficult good bye's Mike and I have ever had. I tear up just thinking about leaving him in the airport that day. Morgan and I were headed back to the states with out him for at least 18 months. My heart broke when I had to turn and walk away from him. Knowing he was headed off to war and THAT was going to be my final good bye, oh it still hurts.



Once in Nashville, we found housing quickly. Our neighbors there have become some of my dearest friends. We lived on the opposite side of town from my mom. Not too bad! I was stoked. Morgan would be going to an AMAZING school and I would have a job and things would be just dandy, right??



By mid April I began feeling sick. My thoughts were that I had the "moving overseas crud" that lots of people seem to get. I had heartburn that would no go away, I felt horribly sick most of the day and extremely exhausted!! My poor Morgan was being cheated out of some special mommy time. I am forever grateful to my mom for letting Morgan spend the weekend and have special days with Nana.



I ended up going to the Doctor several times with the conclusion of, tada, being pregnant!! WHAT!?! This wasn't supposed to happen yet! Mike and I had decided to wait until AFTER this deployment was over to even THINK about having more children. I needed him there with me. I wasn't strong enough to do this with out him...or was I? How was I going to tell him? He was on a boat in the middle of the ocean. No phone, no computer, nothing!



He called on his birthday. I was SO thrilled to hear from him and so scared to tell him all at the same time. To my shock, he was stoked! I was the one scared. What did I have to be afraid of?? I became ecstatic. Suddenly, having this baby was the best thing ever. We waited a LONG time to tell Morgan. But when we did, she was thrilled.



I started working in June. I was about 6 weeks pregnant and had to very few people. I loved my job as a Pharmacy Technician and I adored the majority of people I worked with. It turns out that one of the other girls was pregnant also and we were due within weeks of one another. How fun!!



Other than the normal sickness, things were going picture perfect. That is until the middle of October. Now, I am the type of person that drinks a few gallons of water a day. One of my Pharmacist's noticed that I wasn't drinking near as much as I had been in previous weeks. I know it sounds odd to notice something like that, but when you normally have a liter bottle in your hand on a constant basis and go through at least 2 of those bottles by noon, and you haven't even finished 1 bottle by 3pm, there could be something not right. I told him I felt fine but I was FREEZING, had a headache that seemed to last for days and my blood pressure seemed to be acting a little odd. It wasn't really super high or low but the numbers were a little off for me.



Over the next few days I began to swell. I went ahead and moved up my Doctors appointment to that Monday instead of Wednesday. they did the normal urine, blood and blood pressure checks. Everything seemed normal. He noticed the swelling and told me it was about the time that people begin to swell and it seemed nothing more than normal pregnancy swelling. Now, I had never swollen with Morgan but I know people who blew up like balloons and this answer was OK with me.



My mom and dad kept Morgan for me that weekend. i think I stayed in bed the entire weekend too. I could not eat, I didn't drink too much and I felt miserable!! my mom came over Saturday to help me clean the house. On Sunday afternoon I went to her house to pick up Morgan and get ready for the week to come. Oh how our plans changed....QUICKLY!



Upon arriving at mom and dad's house I was so swollen my eye lids were purple!! They MADE me lay down with my feet up and forced water down me to the point I thought I was going to be sick. My dad checked my BP and it was CRAZY high. I had mom recheck it because I thought daddy was insane. After hearing her numbers, I checked it myself because I though they were both loony! Turns out they were right!! I called the doctor immediately and he told me to pack a bag and prepare to stay. WHAT? Are you kidding me?? Again! NO!!! I am not ready for this! What am I going to do with Morgan? What about her school? What about my job? What about Mike!?!?



Once we arrived at the hospital they checked my BP again. I think the nurse had a stroke!! And I should have been based on my blood pressure being 210/180 ish. I was put on monitors galore and water was being forced upon me like no other. My feet were up, I was confined to the bed and it only gets better from here. I was admitted...or committed as I liked to call it at the time. Once the nurse walked in with the Dexamethasone shot, I knew I would be there for a while.



We had just found out that we were having a little boy. Mike and I had agreed on the name William Michael. I was 26 weeks pregnant and my husband was on the other side of the world, literally. Thank goodness my cell phone had Internet and at the time, Mike did too.



I think my e-mail went something like this "In the hospital now until Will is born when ever that may be. Mom and dad have Morgan and so far so good. Love now till forever-Me" You know, short sweet and to the point. That was Sunday October 21st.



Monday October 22nd I saw my doctor. Dr. Trabue has to be one of the most amazing doctors ever. He just has a way about him that I adore, could it be that he is also a very strong Christian man?? Do you see how God has layed this out for my family yet??



I kept Mike as updated as possible through e-mail as I could. It was a tad difficult due to time zones and what not. On Wednesday i sent him a short note telling him that my urine output wasn't what they had wanted so I was going for an ultrasound and would update him upon return. Oh those next few hours were CRAZY!!!!!!



I returned to my room and my WONDERFUL nurse Julie came in to hook me back up to the monitors. She had an extremely difficult time finding and keeping Wills heart beat. She had to ask for help. Help came in the form of three other nurses and ultrasound tech and a high risk OB. You're kidding me?? Not Dr. Fortunato! This guy is THE BEST high risk OB in the world I do believe. He has done some AMAZING stuff and I am sure you could read all about him on google, so I will leave it at he is simply amazing!!



He sat at my bedside and did an extremely in depth ultrasound. He left the room. Upon his return he said to me " I have called Dr Trabue and in matter of moments you will have a baby." I remember telling him, I am only 26 weeks and 4 days, its too soon and I am not having this baby now! He is going to hook me up to some MagSulfate (google that one too it is the devil in liquid form!) and we are NOT having a baby right now(My mother tells me I balled up in the fetal position, screamed and told him its too soon and it is NOT happening!!). He informed me that if we did not move now, they could lose one, if not both of us. Needless to say, that made my choice SO much easier...We delivered William Michael @ 5:56 pm on October 24th 2007 weighing in at 2 pounds 2 ounces (960 grams) and 12 inches long.


This is where the second part of our journey begins....stay tuned.